What a total load of old crap new years resolutions are.

Tossers state to the world. “Oh I’m gonna give up blah, blah”.

Like hell you will!

Listen up shit for brains. You and your resolution will last all of ten minutes if you’re lucky. This time next year you will still be a fat lard arse. You will still be smoking 30 fags a day and you will still be ugly.

Lets face it. Most new years resolution wankers are useless with no staying power.

And why the fuck is it that once christmas day has gone, we get second rate “B” list celebrities flogging off their, “lose six stone in two days” video workout shit?

“Look at me” their video screams out at us. I’m all slim and trim but haven’t got a decent job in the pipeline so I’ll blag some money off wankers like you.

What amazes me is the number of idiots who actually go out and buy this crap. Big Nelly, thirty stone with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Nelly thinks that after an hour sweating like a pig, doing what Davina McCall is yelling out of the TV to her. That she’ll suddenly lose all that blubber she’s grown since failing miserably with last years crap.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Better still. Get off your fat, lazy butt hole and go get a job. Stop sitting on your hole taking handouts from the state all day.

Have you no shame?