I’m sure we’ve all been plagued at one point or another by cold callers.
All of them trying to sell us something we neither want or need. The biggest culprits of this would be telecom companies. “Ohhhh if you change your phone to our service you will be so much better off”. Then the never ending calls from the likes of AOL, trying to flog their shitty service upgrades.
I got so pissed off with these calls that I would just say “hang on a second, I need to let the dog in”. Then I’d just go and watch TV and let the bastards run up their bill until they got fed up waiting and hung up.
Lately theres been an infulx of calls asking “Could we do a quick survey with you please sir”
I think the latest were Insurance companies and even some twat asking if I’d thought about pre-paying for my own funeral!
I obviously got well pissed off with this too. Until yesterday evening. Bastards disturbed me during my dinner n’all.
So then I thought. OK time for some payback. I didn’t ask them to call.
CALLER
“Hello, I’m not trying to sell you anything, but could you just answer a few quick questions for me? I won’t take up much of your time”
ME
“Yes of course you may ask me questions, but before you do. Can I see some identification please?”
Very long pause “Excuse me?” she says.
ME
“I want to see some identification to prove you are who you say you are”
CALLER
“But I only want to ask you a few quick questions”
ME
“And I only want to see some ID”
CALLER
“But this is a phoneline, I can’t show you identification over the phone. So you don’t want to do the survey?”
ME
“Smart girl, now fuck off!”
CLICK….
