How can someone get excited about a candle?
Today in work, I listened to two girls nearly wetting their knickers over bloody candles.
Candles are useful for one thing and one thing only. And thats to find your way around during a powercut. OK maybe two things. I used to love to blow the candles out on birthday cakes when I was a boy.
What is just plain dumb is women who buy candles and place them all over the house when their electricity is in perfect working order.
So these two girls were banging on about different kinds of candles. “ohh Michelle you really have to try (place product name here cos I don’t remember what she called it) I would not use anything else at home” “I always light a candle when I have a bath” said the other. How the hell does she see to wash her girly bits properly?
They pay up to thirty quid or sometimes more for them too apparently. How many light bulbs could you light for thirty quid?
Women who go on about expensive candles are usually sixteen stoners. I don’t know why. If they are not fat, then they are those scrawny, needy ones who have a face like a bag of spanners. Talking about candles is a bit like talking about poetry. It is supposed to make the listener think “Oh, she is very, very romantic this one. And sensual as well.” It is a load of old shite though. The only reason people think candles are romantic is because they make it difficult to see clearly in the dark.
It is stupid behaviour going on a date by candlelight as well. It is the lighting equivalent of beer goggles. You can’t see the warts or weird facial ticks that in decent light would warn you away from a person. Either that or it’s the restaurants way of hiding the rat holes in the skirting boards.
