I’m in a bad mood!
All this christmas crap for God sake. I’ve had to get out of my nice warm bed. I’ve hardly had time to scratch my goolies properly and now I have to get ready to go into town and do some of this frigging shopping thing before every Jesus, Mary and Joeseph invade the place.
And what the hell is it all for really?
Some bloke who annoyed the Romans way back and broke their laws. So they strung his sorry arse up on a cross. Ok, he had a difficult start in life. Who would want to be born in a stable to parents who are obviously mentally retarded. A mother who thinks she is a virgin and a twat of a dad who believes his mrs when she tells him she wasn’t sleeping around. Yeah right Mary!
There’s nothing as bad as what we have to endure in these last few weeks coming up to the silly season. All those poxy carol singers outside chuffin shops for starters. If they could hold a note, I wouldn’t mind so much. Then there’s the extra retards that stores employ to man the tills. The endless shite on TV. And worst of all, the fucking traffic which I know is gonna be waiting for me as soon as I pull out of my garage.
And now I’ve spent so long bloody well yapping about it, I’m soddin well late. Look at the friggin time.
Damn that bloody carpenter!… If anyone buys me a pair of cruddy socks with anything remotely christmassy on them this year. I’m gonna kick yer fuckin head in. Capiche?
“Holy Mary I am dying, just a word before I go. Stick yer christmas on the table and ram a poker up its, Holy Mary I am dying just a word before I go. Sick yer christmas on the table and ram a poker up its, Holy Mary………” (sang to the tune of what a friend we have in Jesus)
