Road Safety, The Facts!

A new government report has stated that death and serious injury in road traffic accidents can be reduced by about 45% if seat belts are worn properly.

Peee Ceee World.

On the back of my last post and why not? Political correctness just gets out of hand year after year.

You might know it as a ‘Nativity Play’, but apparently that is discriminatory against everyone who doesn’t believe in a blue eyed Arab that lived two thousand years ago who could walk on water and do other David Blaine type tricks.

My five year-old second cousin is instead taking part in a non-denominational non-religious winter ‘celebration’ with his class colleagues. I have not had any input into the script so I can’t give away any major plot lines, but I am pretty sure it doesn’t involve Virgins or Arabs. There might be a shocking twist in the story, hopefully, just to keep the audience guessing (I know how dull they can be), I just do not know.

“Can you video it for me so I can watch it over the holidays?” I asked my cousins wife in a moment of seasonal weakness (goodwill to all men and all that)

“Oh, we can’t video it, I’m sorry.”

“You can borrow my camera if you like Donna, I’d really like to see it?”

“It’s not that, it’s just we’re not allowed to video it to stop the Paedos and stuff.”

This is disappointing on so many levels.

One, I cannot see my cousin in his debut stage performance, and two, my cousin clearly lives in a town with a terrible paedophile problem.

I have some home movies taken by my mum. They are generally rubbish. Her hands shake and she doesn’t understand the fact that there is a microphone next to her head. If these films were to find their way onto the Internet and into a perverts clutches, then I am sure it would send many paedo’s back onto the straight and narrow.

If you were a Paedo, would a non-denominational non-religious winter celebration really be the best place for you? Not being able to go, I can not be sure of the dress code, but I would imagine a silver jump suit and platform boots would stand out a little bit.

It is political correctness gone barmy. I can understand banning all sexual deviants from school plays, but how is banning parents from filming their child helping anyone?

Quick Note To Sudan

So Sudan, you finally woke up did you?

Realised what twats you were being?

It was just a Teddy Bear eh?

Just a name?

Sorry you locked her up are you?

Do you feel crap when you think back to all the money we Brits sent to you when you where dying in droves of starvation?

Next time maybe you should try to focus on other aspects of your society like increasing the very low per capita output, reducing child mortality, or even providing food and clean water to your 39 million people, rather than the names of teddy bears.

Just to be on the safe side though, I have created a special hiding place in the loft for Jesus the stuffed Rabbit, Brahman the Golliwog and Buddha the Tank Engine.

Nuff said!